Psychologists Reveal 12 Phrases That Insincere People Always Use

You’ve probably felt it before. A conversation ends, and something lingers in the air but something is off. Your friend seemed pleasant enough, smiled at all the right moments, yet you walked away feeling uneasy. You can’t quite name what went wrong, but your instincts tell you the interaction wasn’t genuine.

Psychology explains that gut feeling. Researchers have identified specific verbal patterns that insincere people rely on to mask their true intentions. Nearly 43 percent of Americans admit to lying to some degree in their personal relationships, which means deception is far more common than most people want to acknowledge. Learning to recognize these linguistic red flags can protect your emotional health and help you build relationships rooted in authenticity rather than manipulation.

Here are twelve phrases that should make you pause and reconsider what’s really being said.

1. “To be honest.”

Research by Geiger and colleagues reveals something telling about people who repeatedly declare their honesty. When someone feels compelled to announce they’re being truthful, they’re often doing the opposite. Authentic people don’t need to constantly affirm their integrity because their actions speak for themselves.

Pay attention when this phrase appears frequently in conversation. Someone who says “to be honest” before every other statement is trying to convince you of something their actions may not support. Real honesty doesn’t require a verbal announcement. It lives in consistent behavior over time.

2. “Don’t take everything so personally.”

Few phrases invalidate your feelings quite like this one. When someone uses these words, they’re performing a clever manipulation trick. They’re shifting the focus from their harmful behavior to your reaction to that behavior.

Psychologists call this script reversal. Instead of acknowledging what they did wrong, the person makes your legitimate emotional response the problem. You’re not being too sensitive. You’re having a normal reaction to being mistreated. Anyone who tries to convince you otherwise is avoiding accountability for their actions.

3. “Just to play devil’s advocate.”

People love hiding behind this phrase. It sounds intellectual and open-minded, doesn’t it? In reality, it’s often a cover for disagreeing with you or attacking your ideas while maintaining a veneer of reasonableness.

Genuine intellectual exploration involves curiosity and collaboration. When someone says they’re playing devil’s advocate, they’re usually about to tell you why you’re wrong without taking ownership of that opinion. It’s disagreement dressed up as discussion.

4. “I didn’t say that.”

Psychologist Joanne Brothwell defines gaslighting as psychological manipulation that makes you question your own reality. Outright denial of words you clearly remember hearing ranks among the most common gaslighting techniques.

When someone flatly contradicts your memory of what they said, they’re attempting to rewrite history. You remember correctly. You heard what you heard. Anyone trying to make you doubt your own perception is avoiding accountability by distorting reality itself.

5. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Listen carefully to how this phrase works. It sounds like an apology, but notice where the focus lands. On intention, not impact. On what they meant to do rather than what they actually did.

Real accountability requires owning the effect your behavior has on others. When someone emphasizes their good intentions instead of acknowledging the harm they caused, they’re offering a non-apology. Your hurt matters regardless of whether they planned it. Genuine people understand and accept responsibility for their impact, not just their intentions.

6. “I’m not like everyone else.”

Insincere people use this phrase to create a false sense of special connection. They want you to feel uniquely valued, as though you’ve been selected for something exclusive.

Psychologists warn that this declaration often signals manipulation. Authentically different people don’t need to announce their uniqueness. Their behavior demonstrates it. When someone has to tell you how special they are or how special you are to them, question what they’re really after.

7. “I’m always right.”

Researchers at the University of Connecticut’s Humanities Institute define intellectual humility as the ability to recognize your own cognitive limitations and genuinely consider other viewpoints. People who claim they’re never wrong possess none of this quality.

Someone who insists on being right about everything has already decided they have nothing to learn from you. Meaningful dialogue becomes impossible. They’re not interested in conversation or exchange. They want validation and agreement, nothing more.

8. “I don’t usually say this, but.”

Linguists identify these qualifiers as markers of deception. James W. Pennebaker from the University of Texas at Austin explains that such phrases typically signal the speaker is about to do something they claim is unusual for them.

Here’s the reality. When someone prefaces a statement this way, they’re probably saying something they say all the time. They’re just packaging it to seem exceptional. If they need to frame their words as out of character, chances are those words reflect their actual character perfectly.

9. “I hate drama.”

Watch out for people who constantly proclaim their disdain for conflict yet somehow always appear at its center. Research shows that individuals genuinely seeking peaceful lives take concrete action to create calm environments.

People who claim to hate drama often thrive on the chaos they pretend to avoid. Their words say one thing, while their behavior tells another story. If someone’s life consistently involves turmoil despite their protests otherwise, that’s information worth noting.

10. “Trust me, I never lie.”

Authentic people don’t need to repeatedly declare their trustworthiness. Real trust builds through consistent actions over time, not through verbal assurances.

When someone keeps telling you to trust them or insists they never lie, consider why they feel the need to convince you. Often, they’re trying to lower your defenses or gain access to sensitive information. Genuine trustworthiness demonstrates itself. It doesn’t require constant proclamation.

11. “No offense, but.”

Research from Boldside Consultancy draws a clear distinction between constructive feedback and criticism. Feedback builds you up and focuses on solutions. Criticism tears you down and attacks your character.

When someone says “no offense,” they’re choosing criticism over feedback. They know what they’re about to say will hurt. They want to say it anyway. And they want to escape responsibility for that hurt. People who genuinely care about you find ways to communicate difficult truths without prefacing them with disclaimers.

12. “I’m just being honest.”

Psychology Today notes that fake relationships exploit rather than improve the other person. Honesty should build people up, not tear them down. When weaponized, honesty becomes destruction masquerading as virtue.

Anyone who needs to announce they’re just being honest is probably about to say something cruel. Real honesty doesn’t require a shield. It comes from a place of care, delivered with respect. When someone uses honesty as an excuse for judgment, they’re showing you who they really are.

What These Patterns Reveal

All twelve phrases share common threads. They manipulate trust. They dodge responsibility. They try to control how you think and feel. And they dress up harmful behavior as reasonable or caring.

Recognition gives you power. Once you understand these linguistic patterns, you can spot manipulation before it damages your relationships. You can protect yourself from people who use words to obscure rather than communicate.

Watch both what people say and whether their actions match their words over time. Authentic individuals demonstrate their values through consistent, respectful behavior. They don’t need to constantly announce their good qualities because those qualities speak through everything they do.

Your instincts matter. When something feels wrong in a conversation, trust that feeling. Don’t let manipulative language make you question your own experience. You deserve relationships built on genuine connection, not verbal tricks designed to keep you off balance.

Real people show you who they are through repeated patterns of honest behavior. Fake people tell you who they want you to think they are, then hope you don’t notice the gap.