Study Finds Men and Women Differ in Emotional Intelligence in Unexpected Ways

A study involving more than 600,000 people has uncovered a striking difference between how men and women perform on emotional intelligence tests and how they judge their own abilities. The findings challenge familiar assumptions about who understands feelings better, while raising questions about confidence and the emotional responsibilities people carry in everyday life.

Researchers analyzed decades of evidence from 76 countries and found that women scored higher on several emotional intelligence skills, particularly those involving other people’s feelings. Men, meanwhile, performed slightly better when managing their own emotions, while the gender gap became much smaller when participants rated themselves.

Researchers Analyzed Emotional Intelligence Data From 609,278 People

The study, published in the journal Emotion, brought together evidence from 1,279 academic papers spanning nearly three decades. The researchers analyzed data from 609,278 people across 76 countries, allowing them to examine gender differences across a much larger population than a single experiment could provide.

The research team included Dr. Mary Hausfeld of the University of Limerick, Vera Hampel and Leon Bach of the University of Zurich, and Professor Jochen Menges, who is affiliated with Cambridge Judge Business School and the University of Zurich.

Their findings challenge the widespread belief that emotional intelligence can be summarized by declaring one gender better at understanding feelings. Instead, the results show that performance depends on the particular emotional skill being measured and the method used to assess it.

Women and girls scored higher on average when recognizing and understanding emotions. They also demonstrated an advantage in regulating other people’s emotions, while men and boys scored modestly higher on tasks involving the regulation of their own emotional states.

The distinction offers a more detailed picture of emotional intelligence, which includes several abilities that do not necessarily develop at the same pace or produce identical results.

Men Rated Their Emotional Intelligence More Highly Than Their Performance Suggested

One of the most attention-grabbing findings involved the difference between demonstrated ability and self-perception. Researchers discovered that women’s advantage was substantially larger on performance-based tests than on self-report assessments.

Performance-based tests measure how accurately people complete tasks involving emotional information. Self-report surveys work differently because participants assess their own abilities, meaning the results also reflect how they perceive themselves.

Professor Jochen Menges summarized the contrast in a statement that captured the study’s central finding: “Women are emotionally intelligent. Men think they are.”

The researchers found that the gender difference almost disappeared when participants rated their own emotional intelligence instead of completing performance-based assessments. This raises questions about whether people can accurately judge their ability to recognize and manage emotions.

Confidence and Competence Are Different Things

The researchers cautioned against assuming they had identified the precise reason for the difference. Men may overestimate their emotional abilities, women may underestimate theirs, or both patterns may contribute to the results.

Menges explained that distinction directly: “Self-perception and demonstrated ability are not the same thing.”

That gap can affect how people approach disagreements and personal relationships. Someone who believes they are particularly good at understanding others may overlook signs that their interpretation of another person’s feelings is incorrect.

A person who doubts their abilities may also fail to recognize skills they have demonstrated consistently. Self-confidence alone cannot establish who is better at reading emotional cues or responding appropriately to difficult situations.

The findings describe average patterns across a large population, rather than a rule that applies to every individual. They do not establish that all men overestimate their abilities or that all women underestimate theirs.

Emotional Intelligence Includes Several Distinct Skills

Emotional intelligence, commonly called EQ, refers to abilities involved in recognizing, understanding, and regulating emotions. These skills influence how people interpret social situations, respond to stress, communicate with others, and manage interpersonal conflict.

The researchers examined emotional intelligence as a collection of different abilities rather than treating it as a single measure. That distinction helps explain why men and women could perform differently depending on the task involved.

Women Scored Higher at Recognizing and Understanding Emotions

Women and girls performed better on average in recognizing and understanding emotions. They also scored higher on tasks involving the regulation of other people’s emotional states.

These abilities can help someone identify when another person is distressed, interpret emotional cues, and respond in ways that support communication. They can also be useful when disagreements require patience and an understanding of different perspectives.

However, recognizing another person’s feelings does not automatically mean someone will respond appropriately in every situation. Emotional intelligence involves several related abilities, and performance can vary according to the context and the skill being assessed.

Men Scored Slightly Higher at Managing Their Own Emotions

The findings shifted when researchers examined self-focused emotional regulation. Men and boys scored modestly higher on tasks involving the management of their own feelings.

Managing personal emotions and regulating someone else’s emotions are different responsibilities. A person may remain composed during a stressful situation while struggling to recognize another person’s distress, or may be highly perceptive about others while finding personal stress difficult to manage.

Menges highlighted the distinction when he said that “being expected to carry other people emotionally is not the same as being better equipped to manage your own emotions.”

The results challenge the assumption that emotional intelligence can be measured accurately through one overall ranking. Different abilities produce different outcomes, making broad claims about which gender is more emotionally intelligent difficult to support.

The Gender Gap Has Narrowed Over Time

Because the research covered nearly three decades of evidence, the team could examine how differences between men and women changed across the period. The researchers found that gender differences in overall emotional intelligence had narrowed in more recent years, with particularly noticeable changes among children.

This pattern is consistent with changing socialization and gender norms, although the researchers emphasized that their analysis could not establish the cause. Age, generation, and historical period could not be separated completely within the available data.

Biological explanations also could not be ruled out. The findings therefore suggest that the differences are not necessarily fixed, while leaving the reasons for the changes open to further investigation.

Childhood Experiences May Influence Emotional Skills

Children receive messages about how they should express feelings, respond to conflict, and interact with other people. Those messages can differ according to family expectations, social environments, and cultural ideas about masculinity and femininity.

In many settings, boys are encouraged to appear confident and independent, while girls may receive stronger encouragement to be considerate and attentive to others. Repeated experiences can influence which emotional skills children practice as they grow older.

However, the study does not prove that these social expectations explain the observed differences. Its findings are consistent with changing gender norms, but they do not establish that socialization is the sole cause.

The narrowing gap among younger generations also challenges the idea that average differences between men and women must remain unchanged. Researchers would need further evidence to determine which influences account for the changes and how those influences interact.

Women Could Be Expected to Carry More Emotional Work

The findings have implications for workplaces, where emotional intelligence can influence communication, teamwork, and conflict management. Research discussed by the study’s authors has linked emotional intelligence with job performance, stress management, and workplace relationships.

However, assumptions about gender can influence how organizations distribute interpersonal responsibilities. Women may be expected to smooth over disagreements, support distressed colleagues, maintain team relationships, and identify tensions before they escalate.

These responsibilities can consume time and energy, even when they are not formally recognized as part of a person’s role. If employers assume women are naturally better at managing other people’s feelings, those tasks may become disproportionately assigned to female employees.

Emotional Labor Can Be Overlooked

Emotional labor can include helping colleagues manage conflict, offering support during stressful periods, and maintaining relationships within a team. These activities may benefit an organization, but they can also add to an employee’s workload.

The researchers warned that broad assumptions about gender and emotional intelligence create two risks. Genuine differences in specific abilities may be dismissed, while women may be expected to take on a disproportionate share of emotional responsibilities.

The findings do not establish that every workplace distributes emotional labor unfairly. They do, however, raise a clear concern about treating a group-level average as a reason to assign responsibilities to individuals.

Managers can avoid that problem by evaluating employees according to their demonstrated skills and actual contributions. Emotional support and relationship management should not automatically become the responsibility of women simply because of longstanding expectations.

Leadership Expectations Can Reinforce Gender Stereotypes

The study also has implications for how organizations evaluate leadership potential. Traditional ideas about effective leaders often emphasize confidence, assertiveness, decisiveness, and independence, while empathy and relationship management may receive less attention.

These expectations can create conflicting demands for women in leadership positions. Women may be expected to maintain positive relationships and show empathy while also meeting expectations that leaders should be forceful and assertive.

The same behavior can be interpreted differently depending on who displays it. An assertive man may be viewed as confident, while an assertive woman may face different expectations about how she should behave.

The researchers found that gender differences in emotion recognition were larger among leaders than among nonleaders. They also found smaller differences in male-dominated industries than in other sectors, contrary to their expectations.

Those results identify patterns within the data, but they do not establish why the differences occur. Further research would be needed to explain the role of workplace culture, selection into leadership, and other possible influences.

The broader implication is that organizations should recognize emotional intelligence as a set of skills that can be developed and assessed in people of any gender. Leadership evaluations that rely too heavily on stereotypes risk overlooking employees whose strengths do not match conventional expectations.

What the Study Reveals About Emotional Intelligence

The findings offer a more nuanced view of emotional intelligence than the familiar belief that women are naturally better at handling emotions. They also show why self-confidence should not be treated as reliable evidence of demonstrated ability.

Five findings stand out from the researchers’ analysis:

• Women scored higher on average in recognizing and understanding emotions, as well as regulating other people’s emotional states.
• Men scored slightly higher on tasks involving the regulation of their own emotions.
• Self-assessments produced a different picture from performance-based tests, with the gender gap becoming much smaller when people rated themselves.
• Gender differences narrowed over time, particularly among children, although the researchers could not establish the reasons.
• Workplaces risk reinforcing stereotypes when they treat emotional intelligence as a feminine trait or expect women to handle interpersonal responsibilities by default.

The findings do not establish that one gender is inherently superior at emotional intelligence. Instead, they show that different emotional skills can produce different results, and the method used to measure those skills can influence the apparent size of the gap.

Organizations Need to Measure Skills Instead of Assuming Them

The researchers recommend treating emotional intelligence as a collection of abilities rather than a trait that belongs naturally to one gender. Where validated performance-based assessments are available, organizations can use them to gain a clearer understanding of employees’ demonstrated abilities.

Managers can also examine how interpersonal responsibilities are distributed across teams. Supporting colleagues, resolving disagreements, and maintaining relationships should not automatically fall to the same employees because of their gender.

Individuals can apply the same principle to their own relationships by paying attention to the difference between feeling emotionally capable and demonstrating those abilities in practice. Recognizing emotional cues, understanding different perspectives, and regulating personal responses are skills that can be strengthened through experience and feedback.

Important questions remain unanswered, including why the differences emerge and how biological and social influences interact. The researchers’ findings provide evidence of average patterns, but they do not justify treating those patterns as fixed rules for individuals.

Emotional intelligence is best judged by what someone can demonstrate, rather than how confidently they describe themselves. That distinction offers a more useful way to understand relationships, assess leadership, and decide who should carry the emotional responsibilities that keep workplaces functioning.