Dear Coleen: I never feel like sex any more as I am run ragged all time

A woman in her late 30s, juggling a busy job and three kids under eight, has expressed her dilemma in lacking the desire for intimacy due to feeling overwhelmed by her responsibilities. Despite her husband being supportive and actively involved in childcare and household chores, maintaining a strict routine is crucial to prevent everything from falling apart. The woman confesses that she loves her husband and finds him attractive, but she struggles to engage in physical intimacy, leading to feelings of guilt.

The woman’s rare night out with friends sparked concerns when a light-hearted comment was made about the potential consequences of a dwindling sex life. This prompted her to seek advice from an advice column, reaching out to Coleen Nolan, seeking guidance on the matter. Coleen acknowledges the challenges the couple faces in finding time for romance amidst the chaos of everyday life. She highlights the importance of nurturing the emotional connection between partners, as neglecting this bond can lead to a decline in physical intimacy.

Coleen suggests that discussing feelings and making time for each other outside of parental duties can reignite the spark in their relationship. She emphasises the normalcy of fluctuations in sexual desire within long-term relationships and advises the couple to communicate openly about their needs and desires. Coleen encourages the woman to address any stress factors that may be impacting her libido and to consider seeking medical advice if necessary.

In conclusion, the woman is reassured that acknowledging the issue is the first step towards finding a solution. By prioritising communication, quality time together, and self-care, the couple can work towards revitalising their intimacy and strengthening their bond.

Insights:
It is common for couples to experience fluctuations in sexual desire, especially when managing busy schedules and parenting responsibilities. Open communication, prioritising quality time together, and addressing stress factors are key elements in rekindling physical intimacy within a relationship. Seeking advice and guidance, whether from a professional or a trusted source, can help couples navigate challenges and improve their relationship dynamics.