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I’m Canadian, and my husband is American. We chose to live in Canada even though salaries are often lower.
For immigrant families navigating life between two countries, the question of where to settle is rarely just about jobs or geography. It’s about where one feels safe, welcome, and able to thrive — not just economically, but emotionally. As cross-border relationships become increasingly common in our globalized world, couples like Isheeta Borkar and her husband are faced with difficult decisions that blend love, career, immigration policy, and cultural belonging.
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Originally from India, Borkar is now a Canadian citizen living in Vancouver. Her husband, an American tech worker, moved to Canada after they married — a choice that surprised many, given the United States’ reputation as a land of opportunity. But for the couple, home isn’t defined by GDP or prestige. It’s shaped by comfort, consistency, and the ability to live without fear of being turned away at the border.
For many immigrant couples living in North America, the decision of which country to call home is deeply personal — and increasingly complex. Isheeta Borkar, a Canadian citizen and human resources professional living in Vancouver, and her American husband, a tech worker, exemplify this delicate balance. Though both originally from India and now North American residents for over a decade, their journey underscores the evolving challenges of cross-border life.
When they married in 2019, they made a conscious choice: instead of settling in the U.S., often seen as the land of greater economic opportunity, they chose Canada. The decision wasn’t made lightly. While Canada may offer lower average salaries, Borkar found that the intangible benefits — particularly the emotional security and social inclusiveness — made it a more appealing home.
“I felt more comfortable living in Canada,” she shared. This comfort, however, doesn’t negate the logistical friction that cross-border couples often face. While frequent travel between Vancouver and Seattle was once relatively seamless, increased scrutiny at the U.S. border has added stress. On a recent trip, the couple encountered unusually intense questioning by border agents, a shift Borkar attributes to rising political tensions and shifting immigration sentiments.
Rather than simply asking about the purpose of travel, officers now probe deeper: “Why are you going there?” “Are you planning to work from there?” Such interrogations reflect broader national concerns around labor mobility and security, but for individuals, they add emotional strain. “Now I feel a knot in my stomach whenever we cross the border,” she admitted.
Beyond border anxiety, this lifestyle also demands emotional resilience and logistical flexibility. Their lives are increasingly shaped by policy changes, trade tensions, and economic signals on both sides of the border — factors over which they have little control but that affect everything from real estate to travel frequency.
In short, for immigrant couples like Borkar and her husband, life between two nations requires more than love and commitment. It demands agility, patience, and a careful weighing of values beyond just income or career progression.
The Emotional Trade-Offs of Security vs. Opportunity
The common narrative for many immigrants is that the United States offers unparalleled professional opportunities — a magnet for those with ambition and drive. Isheeta Borkar acknowledges this perception, noting the allure of higher salaries and broader career prospects. Yet for her and her husband, the intangible sense of security and belonging they’ve found in Canada outweighed these material advantages.
“There’s always a sense of nervousness,” Borkar observed about her immigrant friends living in the U.S., whether they hold a tourist visa, H-1B, or even a green card. “Will I be allowed back in?” is a recurring fear. This uncertainty is not unfounded. U.S. immigration policy, especially in recent years, has become more scrutinizing and politically charged. According to a 2023 report by the Migration Policy Institute, increased border enforcement and administrative delays have led to growing stress among visa holders, particularly those from South Asian countries.
By contrast, Borkar describes Canadian immigration as more transparent and humane. After gaining citizenship in 2017, she has enjoyed the freedom to travel without fear or complication — a critical emotional benefit for someone with deep family ties across borders.
Canada’s approach to integration also played a key role. She recalls living in Seattle briefly and never feeling fully “at home,” despite having family nearby. In Vancouver, however, the warmth and acceptance she experienced helped her feel part of a community — not just a resident. Research from Environics Institute’s “Canadian Millennial Survey” supports her view: immigrants in Canada report higher levels of belonging and societal trust compared to their counterparts in the U.S.
Still, it’s not a one-sided picture. Borkar openly recognizes the limitations of life in Canada. Certain conveniences — especially for immigrants — are more robust in the U.S., such as access to a wider range of ethnic foods and more expansive delivery services. In smaller Canadian cities, these limitations are felt more acutely.
Canada’s Social Infrastructure — A Safety Net with Gaps
While emotional security and social inclusion drew Isheeta Borkar and her husband to Canada, the country’s public infrastructure also played a critical role in their decision. Chief among these benefits is universal healthcare — a cornerstone of Canadian identity and often cited as a key differentiator from the United States.
Canada’s publicly funded healthcare system, which covers essential medical services for all residents, offers immigrants peace of mind, especially compared to the U.S., where access to healthcare is largely tied to employment and private insurance. For cross-border couples like Borkar’s, this distinction can be life-altering. It means fewer worries about catastrophic medical bills or job-related coverage lapses, which are common concerns among U.S.-based immigrants.
However, Borkar is also candid about the trade-offs. Canada’s healthcare system, while equitable in principle, is not without challenges. Wait times for specialist appointments and certain procedures can be lengthy, particularly in urban centers like Vancouver, where demand often outpaces capacity. This reality tempers the idealism often associated with Canada’s medical model.
Beyond healthcare, Borkar points to lifestyle differences that affect quality of life in subtler ways. For instance, access to services such as food delivery, specialty groceries — especially those catering to Indian cuisine — and convenience-based amenities remains limited in many parts of British Columbia. While Vancouver itself offers more variety, the disparity becomes more pronounced in smaller towns and rural areas.
This reflects a broader pattern. A 2022 report from Statistics Canada highlighted how urban-rural divides continue to affect immigrant settlement experiences, especially when it comes to accessing culturally specific goods and services. Many newcomers to Canada face a choice: settle in large cities with high living costs or move to smaller communities with fewer resources tailored to their needs.
Borkar and her husband have chosen to remain in Vancouver, despite its high cost of living, in part because of these considerations. The city offers a compromise — community, healthcare access, and a semblance of familiarity — even if not all conveniences are on par with U.S. urban centers.
In the end, Canada’s social infrastructure provides a solid foundation, but it’s not without cracks. For immigrants, the question isn’t just whether a country offers healthcare or residency. It’s whether those systems align with everyday lived experience — culturally, economically, and practically. For Borkar, the answer — so far — remains yes, albeit with some reservations.
Economic Uncertainty and the Weight of Political Tensions
While personal safety and social infrastructure have made Canada feel like home for Isheeta Borkar and her husband, broader economic and political uncertainties are increasingly shaping their day-to-day decisions — and those of many other Canadians.
One major concern is the evolving trade relationship between Canada and the United States. Amid talk of new tariffs and rising political tension, particularly involving former President Donald Trump’s influence and protectionist rhetoric, everyday economic behaviors are shifting. When the couple listed their Vancouver apartment for sale earlier this year, they encountered a hesitant housing market — a stark contrast to the historically competitive real estate scene in British Columbia. Despite showings and open houses, they received no offers.
“I believe it’s because many people are waiting to see how things play out economically and politically,” Borkar shared. This hesitation isn’t isolated. According to a 2024 Royal LePage market report, Canadian homebuyer sentiment has declined amid concerns over interest rates, inflation, and global market instability — all compounded by trade uncertainty with the U.S.
Consumer behavior is also adapting in response. Borkar notes that local businesses, like the BC Liquor Store, have adjusted inventory to emphasize domestic products — such as British Columbia wines — over imports from the U.S., particularly California. The shift reflects both economic pragmatism and a subtle sense of national solidarity in uncertain times.
Travel patterns have followed suit. Friends who once vacationed in Florida or Hawaii are now choosing destinations within Canada. While affordability is a factor, political discomfort also plays a role. For many immigrants — even citizens — the rising intensity of U.S. border controls is prompting a reconsideration of how freely they can move, even just for leisure.
This broader climate of unpredictability affects not just major life choices like selling property or relocating but also routine decisions — where to shop, what to eat, whether to travel. For immigrant families straddling borders, the cumulative effect of political shifts, market instability, and rising nationalism can erode the sense of agency they worked so hard to build.
Choosing Home on Their Own Terms — A Personal, Not Permanent, Decision
For Isheeta Borkar and her husband, the decision to remain in Canada is grounded not in permanence, but in personal alignment — a pragmatic understanding of what matters most in this phase of their lives. Though they acknowledge the professional allure of the U.S., especially in high-paying industries like tech, they are deliberate in not chasing opportunity at the cost of peace of mind.
“There’s never a hard no,” Borkar says of potentially moving to the United States. If a career-defining role or life-changing opportunity arose — something that aligned with their values and long-term goals — they would consider it. But for now, the equilibrium they’ve built in Vancouver offers something more sustainable: stability without fear, a sense of belonging, and the freedom to live without second-guessing every immigration checkpoint.
Their story underscores a quiet but powerful shift in how many immigrants — especially those with the privilege of mobility — are reevaluating the calculus of success. Rather than blindly pursuing the highest salary or most prestigious zip code, people like Borkar are redefining home as a place where they can live securely, contribute meaningfully, and maintain cross-border ties without sacrificing their mental well-being.
This perspective is increasingly relevant in today’s uncertain climate. As immigration policies harden and geopolitical tensions rise, many families find themselves navigating a delicate dance between opportunity and stability. Borkar’s approach offers a model: stay rooted where you feel respected and safe, but remain open to change if it comes on your terms.
Takeaway: In a world where global mobility is both a privilege and a pressure point, Borkar’s story is a reminder that home isn’t just a passport stamp or paycheck — it’s a place where you can move freely, live with dignity, and make choices without fear. For immigrants balancing ambition and identity, the most empowering decision may not be about where you go, but why you choose to stay.