‘We’re a millennial couple with two kids earning $250,000 – there’s no way we can afford a home’


For many, the dream of homeownership represents stability and a secure future. But in today’s housing market, even families with significant incomes find themselves unable to achieve that dream. Laura and Samuel Graves, a millennial couple earning a quarter-million dollars annually, should be prime candidates for buying a home. Yet, despite their impressive earnings, they remain stuck in a rental, watching the housing market from the sidelines. What’s keeping them from finding a place to call their own, and what does their struggle reveal about the broader challenges facing homebuyers today?

Financial Realities of Homeownership in Expensive Markets

In many U.S. cities, earning a substantial income is no longer a guaranteed path to homeownership. This reality is sharply felt by Laura and Samuel Graves, who together make $250,000 annually in Portland, Oregon, but are still struggling to buy a home that meets their needs and budget. Despite their seemingly high income, the couple finds themselves priced out of most homes in their desired area.

The housing market in Portland is notoriously expensive, with the average home price hovering around $540,000. In the specific suburb where the Graves family is searching, homes can cost even more, with some estimates placing average values at around $642,000.

Mortgage rates, currently at around 6.47%, are much higher than the sub-3% rates seen just a few years ago, making even modest homes less affordable.

Financial experts generally recommend spending no more than 28% of your income on housing costs. However, in the Graves’ situation, adhering to this rule would mean keeping their monthly mortgage around $3,000, which is challenging in their market. Most homes they are interested in come with a monthly mortgage of around $5,000, almost half of their $11,000 take-home income.

This financial strain is compounded by the couple’s refusal to become “house-poor”—a term used to describe those who stretch their finances thin just to own a home. Like many others in a similar situation, the Graves have opted to continue renting their $2,700-a-month apartment until they find a property that fits both their budget and needs.

The Strain of High Housing Costs on Middle-Class Families

The Graves family’s struggle is a reflection of the growing financial burden on middle-class families in today’s housing market. Although earning $250,000 a year puts them in a high-income bracket, the rising costs of homeownership in cities like Portland make it difficult to stay within the recommended budget for housing expenses. Traditionally, financial experts advise that no more than 28-30% of your income should go toward housing costs. For the Graves, this would translate to a mortgage payment between $3,000 and $3,500, which they aim to stick to.

However, the reality is that most homes they are considering require monthly payments of at least $5,000—significantly higher than their budget allows. This strain has led them to compromise in several areas. For instance, they have reduced their contributions to retirement savings, opting to set aside only 3% of their income instead of the ideal 15%, and have adjusted their children’s childcare arrangements to part-time summer camps.

This situation highlights a broader trend impacting middle-class families nationwide, as many face the difficult decision between stretching their finances to buy a home or maintaining financial stability by renting. Rising home prices, coupled with elevated mortgage rates, have left many families stuck in this dilemma. According to recent data, average home values in Portland exceed $540,000, pushing even well-off families like the Graves to rethink their financial priorities and long-term plans.

Waiting for a Favorable Market: The Decision to Rent

For Laura and Samuel Graves, the decision to keep renting rather than rushing into homeownership is a strategic one. Despite earning $250,000 annually, they have opted to wait for more favorable market conditions rather than become “house-poor.” In today’s high-cost housing environment, where the average home in Portland exceeds $540,000, the couple faces a stark reality: the homes they want would require mortgage payments of at least $5,000 per month, far beyond their desired budget of $3,000 to $3,500.

Instead of stretching their finances to the limit, the Graves continue to rent their $2,700-a-month apartment while closely monitoring the housing market. Their hope is that, with time, prices will drop, allowing them to find a home that aligns with both their financial goals and family needs. As Laura Graves expressed, “We refuse to become ‘house-poor’ and, like many others, are choosing to sit it out until the housing market is reasonable again”​.

The decision to wait out the market has come with its own set of challenges. The couple acknowledges that by the time they can afford their dream home, their children may have outgrown the need for amenities like a play set or extra space, underscoring the emotional toll of delaying homeownership​.

This cautious approach is shared by many middle-class families who prefer to avoid overextending financially, even if it means compromising on their current living situation. By prioritizing financial stability over rushing into a risky investment, the Graves hope to eventually secure a home that fits their needs without sacrificing their long-term goals.

Why Housing Costs in Portland Remain Stubbornly High

Despite national trends showing home prices dropping in some regions, Portland’s housing market remains stubbornly expensive. Several factors contribute to this, keeping prices elevated and making it difficult for even high-income families like the Graves to find affordable homes.

One major issue is the ongoing housing shortage in Portland. While the city has made strides in building more affordable housing units, demand still far exceeds supply. According to recent reports, the city is grappling with a “perfect storm” of conditions: rising interest rates, inflation, and a lack of affordable housing stock. This combination has left nearly half of all Portland renters cost-burdened, paying more than 30% of their income toward housing.

Portland’s population growth, combined with slow construction rates, further exacerbates the problem. Although the city has opened thousands of affordable housing units in recent years, there is still a significant gap between what is needed and what’s available. This shortage drives up prices for existing homes, making it increasingly difficult for middle-class families to buy without stretching their budgets​.

Moreover, local zoning laws and the rising costs of construction have also contributed to the housing crunch. While some efforts, like the Inclusionary Housing Program, have added affordable units in new developments, these measures have not been enough to counterbalance the high demand and rising prices​.

These persistent challenges highlight why Portland’s housing costs remain so high, leaving many prospective buyers, like the Graves, stuck in a cycle of renting and waiting for the market to cool. Even with significant earnings, affording a home within their financial comfort zone seems increasingly out of reach.

Practical Tips for Navigating a Challenging Housing Market

For families facing similar struggles as the Graves, there are practical steps to consider when navigating today’s tough housing market:

1. Reevaluate Your Budget and Priorities : Take a hard look at your finances and determine a realistic budget for housing. Financial experts recommend spending no more than 28-30% of your take-home income on housing costs. Consider other financial goals, such as retirement and education savings, before deciding how much you can comfortably allocate for a mortgage.

2. Explore Alternative Neighbourhoods: If your desired area is out of reach, consider nearby neighbourhoods that may be more affordable. Look for up-and-coming areas that offer potential for future appreciation, even if they require slight compromises in terms of commute or amenities.

3. Consider Renting Longer While You Save: With mortgage rates currently high, it may be more beneficial to rent while saving for a larger down payment. A larger down payment can reduce your loan amount and monthly payments, giving you more flexibility when rates eventually drop.

4. Stay Informed About Market Trends: Monitor market conditions regularly. Interest rates, housing inventory, and price trends can shift, creating windows of opportunity. Tools like mortgage rate trackers and neighbourhood market reports can help you stay updated on favorable changes.

5. Look for Down Payment Assistance Programs: Some states and local governments offer down payment assistance programs for middle-income families. These programs can provide grants or low-interest loans that make homeownership more achievable. Research what is available in your area.

6. Get Pre-Approved and Be Ready to Act Quickly: In competitive markets, getting pre-approved for a mortgage can give you an edge. This shows sellers that you’re a serious buyer, which can be critical when multiple offers are on the table. Being prepared to act quickly can make a difference in securing a property you like.

7. Remain Flexible with Your Criteria: While it’s important to have clear goals, remaining open to different property types (e.g., condos, townhouses) or slightly smaller homes can expand your options. Sometimes, a minor compromise on your wish list can make a big difference in affordability.

8. Consider Co-Buying with Friends or Family: For some buyers, pooling resources with trusted friends or family members to co-purchase a property can be a viable option. This approach allows you to afford a larger home and split expenses while still building equity over time.

The Bigger Picture: Balancing Financial Goals and Homeownership

The housing market’s current volatility has left even high-earning families, like Laura and Samuel Graves, in a challenging position. Despite earning a combined $250,000 a year, they face difficult trade-offs between owning a home and maintaining their financial stability. With soaring housing prices and elevated mortgage rates, the decision to delay buying a home reflects a growing trend among middle-class families prioritizing long-term financial health over immediate homeownership. While they continue to rent and save, the Graves hope for a shift in market conditions that will allow them to achieve their dream of homeownership without sacrificing other financial priorities. Their story serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities facing many families in today’s housing market and underscores the importance of balancing aspirations with financial responsibility.


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