I left my husband for a horse – they’re loyal and steadfast

For some women, the deepest connections they’ve ever experienced come with a surprising companion: their horse. While society often romanticizes human relationships as the pinnacle of companionship, a growing number of women feel an unbreakable bond with their equine friends—one so profound that it reshapes their lives, priorities, and even partnerships. From offering unwavering support to sensing emotions in ways that many find almost uncanny, horses provide a unique form of loyalty and understanding.

Yet, these bonds aren’t always easy to explain, especially when they pull at the fabric of more traditional relationships. What makes this connection so powerful that some women have chosen their horses over their husbands? And what does this reveal about the nature of companionship, loyalty, and self-discovery? The stories that follow delve into these compelling choices, unveiling a world where passion, empathy, and a bit of rebellion challenge the boundaries of love and loyalty.

Why Horses Become “Soulmates”

The profound bond between women and horses often transcends traditional human relationships, earning these majestic animals the title of “soulmates.” This unique connection is rooted in several key factors:

Unconditional Loyalty and Emotional Support

Horses offer unwavering companionship without the complexities of human relationships. Their consistent presence provides a reliable source of comfort and stability. As Claire Howard notes, her horse Fin is “always pleased to see me, gives me unconditional love, never interrupts me and doesn’t complain if I dish up the same dinner every day.”

Intuitive Emotional Sensitivity

Horses possess an innate ability to sense and respond to human emotions, fostering a deep empathetic connection. This sensitivity can be especially comforting during challenging times. Amy Howland shares that her horse Jasmine “instinctively seems to know” when she’s feeling down and will “trot over for a cuddle when she spots me.”

Non-Judgmental Companionship

The absence of judgment in equine relationships allows individuals to express themselves freely, without fear of criticism. This creates a safe space for personal growth and emotional expression. As one woman reflects, “I left my husband to come to this course!” highlighting the freedom found in pursuing her passion for horses.

Shared Passion and Purpose

Engaging with horses often involves shared activities and goals, such as riding, training, or competing. These shared experiences strengthen the bond and provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Sam Lester describes how her horse Starsky has “absorbed all my attention, money and time, and always cheers me up,” underscoring the depth of their connection.

Physical and Mental Health Benefits

Interacting with horses has been shown to offer numerous health benefits, including reduced stress levels, improved mood, and increased physical activity. Equine-assisted therapy is effective in reducing irritability, agitation, and impulsivity, while increasing cooperation, emotional regulation, and behavioral control.

Stories of Women Who Chose Horses Over Partners

The profound bond between women and their horses often leads to life-altering decisions, where equine companions take precedence over human relationships. The following stories illustrate this deep connection and the choices made in its favor.

Amy Howland: Prioritizing Jasmine Over Marriage

Amy Howland, a 39-year-old veterinary nurse from Lincolnshire, faced a pivotal moment in her marriage when her first husband issued an ultimatum: “It’s me or the horse.” Without hesitation, Amy chose Jasmine, her cherished black Shire cross. She recalls, “I felt he behaved almost as if I had another lover.” Amy’s bond with Jasmine was especially significant, as the horse arrived just six days after Amy was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. She describes Jasmine as her “savior during tough times,” noting the horse’s intuitive understanding of her emotions. This deep connection led Amy to end her marriage, stating, “If he refused to accept how important Jasmine was to me, then I realized we had no future.”

Claire Howard: A Lifelong Equine Priority

Claire Howard, a 61-year-old film extra from Banbury, Oxfordshire, has been married to her husband David for 40 years. Despite their long-standing relationship, Claire admits that her horse, Fin, an Irish Draught cross Thoroughbred, holds a special place in her heart. She states, “Though we’ve been married for 40 years and he’s the only human male for me, he knows my horse, Fin, will always come first.” Claire’s connection with Fin is so profound that the horse has mirrored her health struggles, falling ill during her battle with breast cancer. David acknowledges this bond, saying, “So 40 years on, I’m not surprised Claire loves Fin more than me.”

Sam Lester: Childhood Bond Endures

Sam Lester, a 28-year-old business development manager from Ringwood, Hampshire, has maintained a deep connection with her horse, Starsky, since she was 13. She describes Starsky as her “childhood sweetheart” and admits that he has “absorbed all my attention, money and time.” When Sam married Kevin Crabb, he was aware of her unwavering dedication to Starsky. Kevin reflects, “Even ahead of our first date I knew that if our relationship ended up going somewhere then I’d have to make do with second place in Sam’s affections.” Despite occasional feelings of jealousy, Kevin supports Sam’s passion, understanding the unique bond she shares with Starsky.

Want to Get Your Own Horse? Things to Consider

Horses are magnificent creatures known for their strength, loyalty, and the unique companionship they offer. But owning a horse is a significant commitment that requires careful thought and planning. Before diving in, consider these crucial aspects to make sure you’re fully prepared for the journey.

1. Financial Commitment

Owning a horse is not a one-time investment; it’s a long-term financial commitment. Beyond the initial purchase, you’ll need to budget for regular expenses like boarding, food, veterinary care, farrier visits, and insurance. These costs can vary significantly depending on factors such as the horse’s breed, age, and any specific health needs. Unexpected medical expenses can arise, so it’s essential to have a financial buffer to ensure you’re prepared for anything.

2. Time and Effort Required

Horses require daily care and attention. Grooming, feeding, exercising, and regular interaction are essential to keep your horse healthy and content. Owning a horse means committing to a lifestyle that involves regular visits to the barn, especially if you’re not boarding at home. Ensure you have the time and dedication to meet the horse’s physical and emotional needs consistently.

3. Suitable Environment

Horses need ample space to roam, graze, and exercise. Whether you plan to board at a stable or have land for your horse, the environment should be safe, clean, and horse-friendly. Adequate shelter, clean water sources, and secure fencing are vital for your horse’s well-being. Additionally, consider the climate and terrain, as some horses are better suited to specific environments than others.

4. Physical and Mental Health

A horse’s health relies heavily on consistent, knowledgeable care. You’ll need to learn about equine nutrition, preventive health measures, and common health concerns. Horses are social animals with mental health needs as well; they require companionship, whether from humans, other horses, or animals like goats. Ensuring your horse has a balanced life with mental stimulation and companionship will go a long way in keeping it happy and well-adjusted.

5. Skill Level and Experience

If you’re a novice, consider starting with lessons or leasing a horse before purchasing. Horses respond best to owners who are confident, knowledgeable, and capable of handling them properly. Building a solid foundation through experience can make the transition to ownership smoother and safer for both you and the horse.

6. Lifelong Bond and Responsibility

Horses can live up to 25-30 years, meaning ownership is a long-term commitment. Your horse will rely on you for consistent care and companionship, making it essential to think about how your life may change over the coming years.

Insights on Passion vs. Partnership

The intricate balance between personal passions and romantic partnerships often presents challenges, especially when one’s devotion to a pursuit, such as equestrianism, becomes a central life focus. This dynamic is exemplified in the story of a woman who chose to leave her marriage to fully embrace her passion for horses.

A Defining Moment of Choice

During an equine training course, a woman in her sixties confided in the instructor about her recent decision to end her marriage to pursue her love for horses. She revealed, “I left my husband to come to this course!” This candid admission underscores the profound impact that personal passions can have on life choices.

The Instructor’s Perspective

Initially taken aback, the instructor reflected on the woman’s decision, stating, “I couldn’t believe she would prioritize horses over her relationship.” However, he soon recognized that her choice was not merely about choosing horses over her husband but about reclaiming her individuality and pursuing a passion that had been suppressed. He observed, “She was a woman who prioritized her passion over her dead relationship.”

The Broader Implications

This narrative highlights a broader theme: the courage required to pursue one’s true passions, even when it means confronting societal expectations or personal relationships. It emphasizes the importance of authenticity and the willingness to face criticism in the journey toward self-fulfillment. The instructor concluded, “I’m advocating letting go of fear and pressing forward into pain instead of hiding away from it.”

Balancing Passion and Partnership

While this story illustrates a scenario where passion led to the end of a partnership, it also raises questions about finding harmony between personal interests and relationships. Open communication, mutual support, and understanding are crucial in navigating these complexities. In some cases, partners can find ways to integrate individual passions into their shared lives, strengthening their bond.

Finding Balance in Love and Loyalty

As these stories reveal, the connection between women and their horses is more than a simple pastime or hobby; it is a deeply rooted passion that brings them comfort, strength, and a sense of purpose. For some, horses provide a sanctuary from the pressures and complexities of human relationships—a source of companionship that doesn’t require compromise or sacrifice.

While society often values traditional partnerships as the foundation of happiness, these women illustrate a different path: one that prioritizes emotional fulfillment, self-discovery, and the courage to choose an unconventional life. Whether it’s through the loyalty of a lifelong equine partner or the thrill of galloping toward one’s dreams, these choices highlight the importance of honoring personal passions and finding love in forms that feel truest to oneself.

In a world that often expects relationships to look a certain way, these women prove that living authentically may sometimes require stepping outside those expectations. For them, the quiet companionship of a horse might just be the ultimate expression of loyalty and love.