There’s a big difference between living and existing. In 1943, Abraham Maslow demonstrated the idea that every human has multiple layers of basic needs: 5 in fact. Everyone strives to meet their most basic needs first, and can only fulfill the others once they do. Starting with what’s needed to keep your body running (air, food, water), and then progressing to more abstract, yet equally important needs, it’s an important concept to remember about humanity. Many people have hungry souls and we consulted a wide range of writings from transformational and life coaches, philosophers, spiritual guides, and others to come up with this list of subtle signs.
The 5 Human Needs
But there’s a funny thing that happens when people neglect the higher needs- it’s not their bodies that begin to weaken and break down… it’s their spirits. Their souls. For that reason, there are millions of people walking around with enough money in their bank accounts and enough Facebook friends and enough activities to fill up their day that they keep existing just fine, but their most unique selves are all but shrivelled up and completely numb.
Watch out for these subtle signs that you’ve forgotten to fulfill your soul food needs- and risk wasting the precious time you have in this life.
Take Heed: 7 Signs Your Soul Isn’t Being Fed
1. You’re Anxious About The Future
If you’re living in the past, worrying about the future, or find yourself stuck in the same stage of life for too long, it’s a sign you haven’t been diligent about meeting your real desires.
A truly self-actualized person who pays attention to their soul’s needs feels comfortable in their present, but doesn’t linger too long. They’re in tune with their hopes for the future and they’re strong enough to do their part to make it happen (and leave what they can’t control to the Universe, to God, or to fate).
Living with worry can also be a sign that you need to care for your lower human needs like finding love and belonging with a person or a community, and learning to become confident in your own skills.
2. You Try To Justify Your Mistakes
If people are calling you out on making excuses for your mistakes instead of apologies, it’s a sign you’re stuck trying to justify your actions instead of learning from them.
A person whose soul is properly fed will understand that their actions have an effect on other people, and they have enough strength to admit when they’re wrong. It takes confidence and a lot of self-love to know that your life is still valuable even when you’re in the wrong.
3. You Talk Down To Yourself
You are the only person you spend your whole life with. And if the voice inside your head is a bully, it’s one of the biggest red flags that your soul is starving.
Negative self-talk tells you that the real you at your core knows something is wrong. While, most of the time, whatever’s “off” isn’t really you (it could be your job choice, a toxic relationship, an abandoned dream, unforgiveness, or fears left from childhood), the voice inside your head only has an audience of one- and unfortunately it only knows attacking words to get your attention.
The bottom line is you’re not always the problem, but only you can be the solution.
4. You’re Not Letting Things Go
You hang on to relationships that have long gone sour, you let unforgiveness and bitterness fester in your heart, you make a lifestyle out of something that was only supposed to be a season of your life. All of these are signs that you’re trying to hold onto something that isn’t for you anymore.
A truly self-actualized person can find value and meaning in every stage of their life, no matter how new it is or how uncomfortable at first. Hanging on to the expired things (or people) in your life makes your soul stretch… and there’s only so much elasticity you can handle.
5. You Spend Most Of Your Day Doing Something You Dislike
Let’s be real, nobody gets to do what they enjoy 24/7. With maturity comes a recognition of your responsibilities, but with that being said, if you find yourself waiting for the weekend to get even a hint of true happiness, it’s time to reconsider how your priorities are really playing out.
But, you don’t need to stage a mid-life crisis. The soul well-fed doesn’t need to make drastic changes to find happiness (although this is sometimes the best way to go). The soul well-fed learns to create moments of joy every single day. Whether it’s humming along to your favorite song, laughing at a great joke, or taking a 10-minute walk in nature, break up the monotony with simple pleasures.
Your job may not be what you expected when you started it, but that doesn’t mean that it should sap all of your energy, creativity, and happiness- nothing should have that power over you.
6. You Don’t Say “No” When You Need To
Everybody needs companionship. Everybody wants to belong somewhere. But being a people-pleaser is actually a bad thing. If you find yourself feeling embittered because people are taking advantage of your kindness, it means something is wrong.
There’s a difference between being a loving and compassionate person towards somebody and letting a person draining you of your emotional energy (not to mention the time and, in some cases, money).
You cannot live your life to the fullest if you’re slowly becoming jaded and resentful because you’re spending so much of yourself that you’re putting yourself into a deficit. Establishing healthy boundaries isn’t just good for you, it’s good for everybody.
7. You Don’t Care For Yourself
Which leads us to the final symptom: you can’t remember the last time you did something special for yourself. Self-care (or more pointedly, self-love) is one of the most important aspects of living a truly full life. And the most beautiful part of it is that it means something different for everybody.
For one person, self-love means taking the time to make a healthy breakfast every day. For another, it means heading to bed early instead of spending a night on the town. For someone else, it means staying up late to watch the stars. For someone else, it means watching that sappy movie that always makes them happy-cry.
You know what those special moments are for you- use them to reignite a simple passion for life again.
Feed your soul.